Friday, March 17, 2006

bloody hell.my mother damn fuck up today larhs okays?she nag me all day ask me do homework..then keep bragging about my cousin what play some fucking game VR10 bloody hell wat type of fucked up game is that then is like fuck lah then she say wat competition can win i cannot..lols.fuck lah she only care bout my cousins not me then even if she care she can only care about my studies..so what if i fail..i dunn care i dont give a damn.she never see my potiential..only about school life..she dont care bout anything.like she only give a shit about me...i already tell shaun le that if i want i can leave house i dunn give a fuck even if the police come after me i also dunn care boy's home dunn care i dunn care bout my life cos no one cares then i also can just like go kill myself..aka suicide.so what if i become great in school?i am popular with the sec1s.so what?dunn give a damn lah.they just wanna disturb me.they dunn give a shit to me.no one is giving me anything on earth..so what if everyone thinks i am rich?and if i am lucky?no one sees it.i totally suck okays.it is damn sad.my sports sucks my everything sucks..studies is like shit.no one cares..everyone just sees me as a cheerful person but no one can see me or imagine me as a sad person because they only know me as a nice person to bully with...
i cannot be outstanding.i am not famous.i am shit in school.no teacher cares.nothing...even if i die no one will care..it is my mother only sees me as a study machine nothing else.i hate studies.i wann go normal if i can i already set out my plans if i go normal.i just try and then i go to poly 2nd year can drive le...haha..ya..ite so what..i just pass everything and go through a normal life stiill..jon and me have this pact on who can be the most successful person but i think all the odds will go to him..i totally suck compared to him..he have fame,he have friendliness ..to me i am a loser..jon has everything.rich...like his mother will give him the phone he wants.mine?never..my mother just want me to have a cheap phone.she dosen't understand..i want a big memory space phone.not a stylo phone..i love photography and videotaking..no one cares bout that...i am worst.in class i have bad results and everything..i dunn care le.i am just trying to pass to give my mother face to tell my cousins that i got pass.everything sucks.i suck in com and everything.initialD i drive 2 yrs le.still suck like hell.no good records.ppl play in 1 yr time they also got world rec.i suck man..i got no skill for anything.i am corrupted...i want to sing and compose songs..i tell my friends they laugh at me..although i am frm single family and my mother copes to earn money for me i still cant cope with studies.no siblings..nothing..at least people like sarra is in 2a.me?2D.no hope..2 DUMB..i cant be anything..jon has hope to set up a church..i got nothing.i cant drive nor i can take mechanics.nothing.IT i also cant get it.even a NT person has more hope then me...nothing can help me..too hopeless alr..now jon is drifting away frm me he is not like last time where he is friendly and always hang out with me @5pm..my mother dosen't understand..i need company..she thinks jon and shaun are bad company.then she dosen't want me to hang out with them..i think jon will think that i am lame also..everyone thinks i am lame..ppl always see me smile..but inside me.i am crying.always..

take this song for refrence of my life..
"Nobody's Home"
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way, She felt it everyday.And I couldn't help her, I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?Too many, too many problems.Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.She wants to go home, but nobody's home.It's where she lies, broken inside.With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.Be strong, be strong now.Too many, too many problems.Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.She wants to go home, but nobody's home.It's where she lies, broken inside.With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.Her dreams she can't find.She's losing her mind.She's fallen behind.She can't find her place.She's losing her faith.She's fallen from grace.She's all over the place.Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.It's where she lies, broken inside.With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh ohShe's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah


....end of blogging today..
siginingoff.
alvinkang...